Back To The Future

Hope everyone had a pleasant Memorial Day weekend. Mine was okay. Just the usual lifting weights, getting huge, eating healthy, shaving my head. You know, the usual. I did go to one bar on Sunday which was very eye opening to say the least. I had always heard that people from Connecticut were a bit snotty and full of themselves. Well I got so much of it shoved down my throat this weekend I nearly threw up a little in my mouth.

Picture it. Sunday afternoon. Outdoor bar on the water. I'm thinking laid back. I don't know what they put in the water around here but people show up in the most ridiculous outfits I have ever seen in my life. Men in pleated slacks, armani shirts, wing tip shoes buffed so I could see my reflection from across the bar. Not to mention more Polo and Lacoste shirts with the collars popped than I have ever seen. And the women were even worse! Dolce and Gabbana sunglasses and cocktail dresses you would expect to see at a Saturday evening black tie wedding, not on a Sunday afternoon at an outdoor bar on the water. Everyone was trying to one-up the next person. Needless to say I was very out of place in my $3 Locals flip flops, camoflauge cargo shorts from the Gap, and free Eddie Aikau surfing t-shirt. Not that I care but still. Apparently the Hawaii lifestyle has not made its way to the Northeast just yet.

Anyway, this brings us to today's post. Let's take a trip back to elementary school. Pre-school for all of my younger readers. And for my female readers please let me know what would be the analog for you. After picking up a pair of Chuck Taylor's this weekend and realizing how they never go out of style, I was thinking about embarassing shoes from yesteryear. What would you say was the most embarassing shoe brand to own back then? The ones I came up with were Pony, Macgregor, LA Gear, and Avia. Send me your thoughts so we can once and for all crown the most embarassing shoe brand of all time. This way, when someone asks me why I'm not excited to get dressed up on a Sunday afternoon, I can respond they same way one of the greatest thinkers of our time did:

"It's not a question of motivation. It's that I just don't care."

--P.Gibbons

Have a great summer!

The City That Never Speeds?

Well for all of my fellow northeasterners, you can finally smile as I think summer has finally arrived. Kind of funny don't you think? I mean, everyone was so happy that winter was so mild; too bad it lasted until the end of May! Good old global warming, it's fantastic!

Anyway, being that it is finally nice outside, my buddy Tom and I took a trip down to the big city (New York) this past weekend. Hey. I'm in New York. I've got a gun. Let's go to a Broadway show. (anyone get that one?) After checking out some outdoor market/reggae block party down in Soho, seeing Drew Barrymore, and having some delicious Asian-fusion food, we hopped in a cab back to Grand Central for the ride home. As we were cruising around in the cab I noticed something interesting, as usual. Everyone in New York City is either a terrible driver or a very good driver. But the most interesting thing is that there are no speed limit signs anywhere to be seen. Isn't this weird? It's like we're looking down on Wayne's basement, only that's not Wayne's basement. (anyone get that one?)

Is the lack of speed limit signs becuase no one would follow them anyway or did they forget? Hey, I thought it was interesting.

They're All Out, They Just Have Diesel

Hope everyone had a lovely Mother's Day. If any of my readers are in fact mothers, then I would love to hear from you because I didn't think I had any readers, let alone readers with kids.

Anyone who drives a car these days, has turned the television on recently, or even slightly paid any attention to current events knows that gas prices are at an all-time high. I remember when I took a vacation to Lanai last February and laughed that gas was $3.15/gallon. Oops, I think I paid $3.11/gallon yesterday. The times they are a changing.

Anyway, as I was driving down the street looking at the marquee in front of each gas station, trying to find which one was the cheapest so I could save about $1.00, I noticed something interesting...which, of course, got me thinking. Remember when gas prices first went over $2.00/gallon right after Hurricane Katrina and none of the gas stations had enough "2s" to put up on the marquee? And recently they had to put "3s" up there too? Well this brings me to the topic of this post. Who are the manufacturers of these little plastic numbers?

Think about it for a second. For as long as I can remember gas was more than $1.00/gallon but less than $2.00/gallon. Thus, requiring gas stations to only need "1s". I did a little research and found that gas prices have not been below $1.00/gallon since the early 1980s. So how in the world have these little plastic number manufacturers stayed in business since then? Have they been sitting in their offices just hoping, praying, and waiting for the problems in the Middle East and Hurricane season to finally cause the prices to go up? Think about it, they probably haven't had any orders in years.

P.S. I don't want any emails dubunking my theory. I'm sure the little plastic number manufactures make other little plastic numbers too.

Isn't It Ironic, Don't Ya Think?

Sorry for the long lay off but I was once again playing underwater for work; this time in Cape May, NJ. That's right, I spent last week inspecting a US Coast Guard pier. All the while getting free food, a good tan, and I even grew a beard again because we were getting up at 5:30 every morning. I look like that little picture at the top of my blog again. But enough about me...on to today's post.

For all of you Alanis fans, so sorry to disappoint you but this has nothing to do with her. Also, I didn't think she still had any fans. I mean she had that one album, Jagged Little Pill, come out 10 years ago and then she vanished back to Canada. Come on, you remember, every 3 weeks another single was on the radio. It was awful. But enough about Alanis...on to today's post.

The irony I speak of lies in a scene I witnessed on my drive down the Garden State Parkway on my way to Cape May, NJ. I see some flashing lights from a police cruiser but don't slam on the breaks like so many people do because I have the cruise control locked in at 65. As I drive past I see the unlucky car that was pulled over and notice something odd...and ironic. The car had a "student driver" sign on the roof and there was only one person in the car. Of course, this means that a driving instructor was pulled over for either speeding or wreckless driving. That sure doesn't look good for that driving school. But hey, I bet they don't make you drive them to pick up dry cleaning like my driving instructor did...