Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Hokie Nation


Real quick insensitive blog post today as I am about to begin my week-long string of birthday parties. My birthday is Thursday the 26th in case you want to send me something. First of all, let me assure you that what happened in Blacksburg is a true tragedy and I can't imagine what it would be like to know someone who was affected by what happened. And the outporing of support is amazing, even from students at Baghdad Technical University voiced their support. I bet if this happened there that no U.S. Universities would show their support. Anyway, I would rate the following Deep Thought a 9 out of 10 on the "Oh-my-God-you-are-such-an-asshole" meter. But as a journalist I have to ask the tough questions. Can you believe they even removed my page on Wikipedia? I'm still trying to get Jordon's Deep Thoughts listed.

So here we go, and remember that here at Jordon's Deep Thoughts we stick to the motto of: If you don't like it or are offended stop reading and get your own blog.

So they reported that the victims of the shooting would be conferred honorary degrees. So my question is whether or not the shooter will also be given a degree since he was both a senior and a victim? What if his parents asked for it? Sure would put the University in a tough spot. I'm betting he won't get his degree. I mean he was an English major, how hard could it have been anyway?

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Epistle to New England Drivers


To my fellow New England drivers:

You SUCK at driving!

Sincerely,

Jordon

P.S. This past Friday I took a little road trip to Boston to catch Armin Van Buuren at Avalon. It's in the shadows of Fenway Park. Ironically, I have stood outside the two most famous baseball stadiums (Fenway and Wrigley) but have not seen a game at either stadium. Anyway, the show was amazing and I was close to starting a fight with the guy who kept bumping into me while I was on my magical trance journey but cooler heads prevailed...luckily for him.

Monday night I had to drive (again) to Plymouth, MA for a meeting. The nor'easter that has been dumping huge amounts of rain on the Northeast slowed driving and made people a lot more cautious, which is understandable. Anyway, I noticed something during my drive(s): New England drivers love to drive in the left lane and just stay there. Did these people not read the driving manual that says the left lane is for passing only.

As a little side note, did you know you can make a left on red only from a one-way to a one-way? The intersection next to my gym is set up this way and I always enjoy making the left here. There is only one other person I know who gets more excited than I do when making a left on red but he will remain anonymous.

Now granted I drive kind of fast but there is no excuse for driving 65 in the left lane when the speed limit is 65. Of course, it doesn't matter which lane you are in because you should never go faster than 65 but that is another story.

So to reiterate my point in this post, New England drivers SUCK at driving. I always thought the stereotype was that New Jersey drivers are bad drivers but I guess that is not true. Thank you for allowing me to vent.

P.P.S. Format courtesy of Epistolary Blog

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Survey Says?

So you are at someone's house and you have to use the facilities. You politely excuse yourself and take a seat to take care of your business. What you do in there I don't know but the other day I noticed that I always do something while I'm in the bathroom and was wondering if I am the only one.

Enter you, the reader, to give me a little feedback so I can finally determine if my bathroom habits are Abby Normal. (anyone get that one?)

Are you always disappointed if there is nothing to read such as a Sports Illustrated or Glamour? Some enterprising individuals have written books specifically meant to be read in the bathroom! It would look pretty weird if you were reading Uncle John's Bathroom Reader while sitting on an airplane. Anyway, am I the only one who finds myself opening the little cabinet under the sink and reading the back of the Comet tub cleaner hoping there is something interesting on there that will occupy my time?

"Ooh, one of the ingredients is bleach, I know what bleach is."

Wouldn't it be great if manufacturers of bathroom products put funny, little blurbs on the back of their products for situations just like these? Maybe this is a good idea, maybe I'm just full of crap, I don't know.

P.S. Did you see you can buy a toilet paper roll dispenser that you can plug your iPod in to? This would keep people entertained but they would have to call it an iPoo...

http://www.atechflash.com/products-icarta.html

Where My Readers Are...

Visit http://www.ipligence.com