Thank You Andre, I'll Have the Veal Piccata

Huge development is my quest to reach all 7 continents. The President of my company asked me yesterday if I would be interested in attending a coastal engineering conference in Dubai. Without even hearing any more I quickly said that I would be interested. So now I get a free, week long vacation to Asia and all I have to do is hand out a few business cards and give a little presentation about all of the papers that will be presented. Piece of cake...I love public speaking. Actually, I just love any excuse to picture people in their underwear. So according to my calculations, I will have been to 6 continents before I turn 30!

So today's Deep Thought is a quick one from the archives. I have always noticed this little part of daily life and now I am writing it down for the whole world to enjoy and debate. Picture this: you go out to eat with friends and/or family and the waitress passes out the menus and takes the drink order. (Notice I said waitress and not server. I am not politically correct and never will be. Deal with it.) Anyway, you take a couple minutes perusing the menu, carefully eliminating each item based on the ingredients or the way each dish is prepared.

Hmm, don't like capers so the fish is out. Don't want to eat anything fried so the chicken is out. Don't like anything with a glaze so the steak is out. Finally you decide on the plain and simple spaghetti and meatballs and close your menu rejoining the table conversation. The miserable teenage (or even more miserable middle age) waitress comes over to take your order. But for some reason you get nervous. You have already decided to get the pasta, you have carefully selected the thousand island dressing on the house salad over the Caesar salad, and you even picked the steamed vegetables as your side.

It's your turn to state your selections and almost instinctively you have to reopen the menu despite the fact that you already know what you want. Sometimes you even feel compelled to point out your choice to the aforementioned miserable food service industry worker. Why is that? What happens in those couple minutes that causes you to completely forget what you want to eat. This is truly a gastrointestinal disorder that should be researched more.

Who's On Your List?

Greetings and salutations. I am experiencing a slight lull in workload so I thought what better way to pass the time than with a little blogging. Some exciting things going on here at Jordon's Deep Thoughts. Well, not really but it sure sounded good. Let's see...my car passed it's bi-yearly emissions test yesterday, which was lovely. I recently went online with my new website: http://www.x-pong.net/. The site describes the most extreme drinking game ever conceived by man. My friends and I invented it while we were seniors at Penn State. My brother now plays with his friends and apparently it is all the rage. Check out the site and try playing...you won't be sorry.

What else? Oh yeah, I am also conducting an experiment at my gym. I always figured that any hot girl wearing an iPod at the gym is off limits because it would be super sketchy to make them take their earphones off to talk to them. I believe I addressed this in a previous post. Also, a friend of mine was telling me that she saw some hot guy using some piece of equipment at the gym and that she went up and innocently asked how to use it, hoping he would then ask for her number. I was amazed to find that girls actually do stuff like that. She also said that you can only do it to guys who aren't wearing iPods. Thus, I have decided to go sans iPod for the next week to see if I appear more approachable. It's been two days and the results are astounding: nobody has talked to me, not even glanced my way. Five days left, I'll keep you posted.

Speaking of the male-female dynamic, I had dinner with my ex-girlfriend last week while I up in Massachusetts. On my way back to my hotel after dinner I remembered how we had a list of celebrities, who, if we ever met, it would be okay to sleep with and it wouldn't be considered cheating. The point being that you would never actually meet this person but it gave your little fantasy hope. So anyway, this got me thinking. Do celebrities have a list of people they can sleep with and it wouldn't be considered cheating? Do they just choose normal people? Do they just sleep with whoever they want because they are celebrities? I mean, someone like Katie Holmes can't tell Tom Cruise that if she ever met Martin Short and sleeps with him it wouldn't be cheating because the odds of them meeting are pretty good.

So what do you think? If there are any celebrities reading this, and I mean A-list celebrities, please chime in with your two cents. Also, Adriana Lima, if you are reading this, please send me an email because we need to get together.

Jailbait?

Here's an interesting topic today. So many celebrities are on their way to jail these days. O.J., Michael Vick, Paris Hilton; the list goes on and on. For some odd reason I got to thinking about female prisons, probably because of Paris Hilton. And, as you might expect, this struck my blog nerve (which is located right behind the medula oblongata). Today's topic is something that I truly do not know the answer to and I think poses a real ethical dilemma that may or may not have already come up in the judicial system. So here it goes.

Let's say a female inmate is sentenced to 5 years in prison for...i don't know...stealing a pair of shoes from a department store. Unbeknownst to her, she is pregnant. Nine short months later she has to give birth. Do they let her deliver the baby in the prison infirmary? Do they take her out of the prison to a real hospital? But the most ethical question...what do they do with the baby? Is it automatically put up for adoption? Is it sent to a foster home? Does the mother get the kid back in four years and 3 months? Who raises the newborn?

If you are a lawyer or know a lawyer could you please find out for me? Is there legal precedent for such a case?

How About Them Phightin' Phils

WOW! My little Phillies finally made the playoffs. It's been a while, as you can tell by that picture on the right. I look a bit different than the picture in my profile. What a euphoric feeling for every Phillies fan around the world. I live in Connecticut where everyone is either a Yankees or Red Sox fan; they are used to winning. The Phillies on the other hand became the first (and only) professional sports franchise to lose 10,000 games this season. Needless to say, Philadelphia sports fans don't have much to cheer about. And when they do, their hearts are usually ripped out by the team choking. (See McChoke, Donovan. Super Bowl XXXIX) So anyway, at least for the next week, I am going to walk around with a smile on my face. Especially since I have many friends who are Mets fans. Talk about historic choke jobs.

Anyway, I was looking through my list of blog topics, trying to figure out what to talk about. Since we are talking about history, I decided to go with a thought I had a while ago while simply walking down the sidewalk.

Question. What do most people do while walking down the sidewalk? Answer. Whistle. When you walk down the street you probably whistle your favorite tune. Maybe something you heard on the radio on your way to work. Maybe a song that has been sitting in the back of your head for 10 years. Either way, you probably don't whistle too many original tunes. The tunes you whistle are delivered via radio, iPod, television, maybe a concert. Now lets go back in history a few hundred years...say 1757 (250 years). I assume mankind knew how to whistle 250 years ago. Is that a safe assumption? What did these people whistle? No radio. No iPod. No television. Maybe the upper class got to see a concert. Maybe a slave song or two. But walking down the sidewalk must have pretty quiet in the olde days. (See how I added the "e" to old to make it seem more authentic?)

Anyway, Go Phillies!