Jordon Cheifet, P.E.

Howdy:

I am just so excited and happy and relieved these days. I recently received news that I passed my Professional Engineering Exam. It's kind of a big deal. The P.E. Exam is basically the Bar Exam for Engineers. Two and half months of studying and being anti-social paid off. And I don't want any emails or comments saying that engineers are anti-social to begin with -- I mean we are but still...

So next week is my big trip to the Pacific Northwest. Tons of excitement here at Jordon's Deep Thoughts. As previously mentioned in this forum, it will mark the completion of my quest to go to all 50 states and the northern, southern, eastern, and westernmost points in the Continental United States. And I get to see a Seattle Mariners game which should be lovely. Also, I read that the road through Glacier National Park is still closed because of snow! It's freaking July 4th and they got 2 feet of snow last week. This is going to greatly hurt my itinerary because there is only one road through the park. But fear not, for you favorite blog protagonist will persevere.

In preparation for my trip I was watching Turistas on HBO last week. It's the story of some backpackers in Brazil who have their bus break down and stop at a local bar while the bus is being fixed. A local slips something in their drinks and they somehow end up at a house in the middle of the jungle where some guy steals their organs. It was excellent. Sounds like a standard Cheifet-family adventure.

Anyway, there was a lot of English and Portuguese being spoken in the movie between the Americans and the Brazilians (obviously). It occurred to me that since there were no subtitles I had no idea if I was watching an English movie with some Portuguese or a Portuguese movie with some English. Also, I had no idea if I was watching HBO or HBO-Latina. Now, don't yell at me saying, "Jordon you idiot, they speak Spanish in Brazil -- because they don't," or "Jordon you idiot, why would they be speaking Portuguese on HBO-Latina?" I'm just saying that I found the language oddity to be confusing. I thought I would share it with you so next time you are flipping through the channels and find something exciting to watch only to later discover it's on HBO-Latina that you can chuckle a bit think, "Oh that Jordon, he is so clever..."

Happy Summer! Now get outside and stop reading Jordon's Deep Thoughts.

More Cheifet Adventures

Okay, fasten your seat belts folks for it's time for another Deep Thought. I was told by a reader who will remain anonymous that the past few posts have begun with me apologizing for my infrequent postings. As a result, I would like to apologize for apologizing at the beginning of my posts. I am truly sorry. Does that count as apologizing again? Damn!

So I'm sure you have been on the edge of your seats wondering what is new with me. Nothing really. I recently returned from another vacation to Trinidad and Tobago -- my 21st country. It was filled with snorkeling, scuba diving, hiking (that's my dad with a cow), and losing to my brother repeatedly at Scrabble. It's so frustrating when your opponent has memorized nearly all of the two- and three-letter words. Did you know that there are nine two-letter words that don't even contain any consonants? AA, AI, AI, EA, EE, OE, OI, OO, and OU.

So I get back to the US and A and I am promptly reminded of how rude people can be. I went to the supermarket last night after a nice gym session which involved some weightlifting, stationary biking, and a lot of staring at girls who get all dolled up to workout and feel the need to wear tank tops and push up bras. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Anyway, I am standing at the deli counter patiently waiting my turn to order my turkey and cheese when I overhear the woman next to me directing the lady behind counter how thick or thin she wanted her cheese. Personally, I couldn't care less as to how thick or thin my deli meat is. Either way, I'm putting two slices of cheese and three slices of turkey between two slices of bread. Can people really taste the difference between a piece of cheese that is 3/16" and another piece of cheese that is 1/4" thick?

So this woman needed to see every other slice to confirm that the deli worker wasn't changing the thickness on her. She was barking orders like a Nazi all over a piece of Cajun turkey breast. By the way, I also got one pound of the Cajun turkey breast and it was delicious. And when the guy helping me asked if the thickness was okay I was sure to reply loud enough for her to hear, "Oh, I don't care how thick it is, makes no difference to me." Then to make things better, this woman refused to take the turkey because, for some reason, the deli lady tuned her out and just cut the fucking turkey.

So yeah, summer is almost here. I have another trip planned to the Pacific Northwest over July 4th at which point I will have been to all fifty states. Stay tuned.

P.S. Happy 21st Birthday to my brother!!!